Every Mothers day I think of my mudder which is a nick name I gave her at some point in my life for some reason it was probably because I am so funny she is so amazing one of the most giving people I know if their is anyone in need she is there to serve. she is the one that taught me to smile and to never give up. That the goesple is true, some of my favorite memories of her are going to the hospital in the middle of the night to get treats from her locker she worked the midnight shift and always had treats. Going to girls camp with her she was the stake camp nurse and was the fun mom all my friends loved her.I remember riding horses with her one day in the field behind the house with one of my brothers I don't remember what we talked about I just know she was there and this Memory makes me happy. I remember singing in her bedroom a song( Silver hair daddy of mine) ok that might not be the name of the song but that is a line in it I loved singing with her and in my mind we sang great!!! shopping she taught me this very well much to my fathers amazements and now my husbands . She taught me to play games I have so many great memories playing games with my family I love my Mudder
Now on yo my next subject being a mom? I have a hard time with this Subject this mothers day for
some reason I fell like talking and sharing this is your warning so here it goes. 11 years ago I became a mother with hope of becoming like my mom this is my Madilyn Joy when she was born I was so happy she was perfect as time went on we learned how perfect she was as she passed way when she was 9 months old. So now on mothers day I am reminded what I don't have on this earth. and how I long for her and to to hold her to have some one to call me mom. I look at other women and long for their crazy lives. As years go by I never know how I will feel one year to the next this year for some reason has been hard. it could be that I am not working every day with kids or my health is worse and I now know that having kids of my own in this life will not happen and that hurts me to the core or maybe because I have wonderful friends who have had little girls and it reminds me of what I don't have or it might just be some kind of mix of it all. all I know is that it is hard to smile today. After some tears I was helping a friend by driving one of her daughters to soccer practice as we were in the car she was talking about mothers day and then she said to me don't you want kids. I paused and said more then you could know . then she went on to say you know that god loves everyone even people without kids or a family.these things help me smile .Now that I hav
e whined I need to leave this on a bright side I know that my heavenly father has a plan for me and my family and we can be together forever if I do My part for that I am great full . So for most days I am great but today I am sad. this is probably the longest post I have ever wrote or ever will but I felt like sharing. and one big thank you to all you out there that share your kids with me . I love it ,I often stop and think what will the future have in store for me? I guess I will just smile and hold on for the ride for just like my cute little friend said to me god loves everyone.(If you read this all I am sorry for all the typo and grammar and punctuation issues )
15 comments:
shame on you for making me cry. I seem to be having a tough time this year as well. Thanks for the story, your example and strength. I love you and can't wait to see you next month.
Cheryl C
Thank you for sharing. I was in the middle of crying while reading when someone came to the door and I had to wipe my tears away. I couldn't say that I was crying while blogging! You are one amazing person whom I love and am grateful to know. Your baby is beautiful and I love her name.
I was thinking about you today Marlene, and I am sure Mother's Day is incredibly hard for you. You are such a gift to me, though. Rylan would trade me for you any day (just ask him). So many things in life aren't fair. But, I hope you know that you bless the lives of SO MANY people. You've been an answer to my prayer and I love you for it. You have made Rylan feel so loved and special! - Kristine
Some things in life just hurt. I think it's OK for you to cry and feel sad today. Just know that you are loved by so many - including me.
I'm still laughing about things you've said to me...you have such a gift of making people smile and laugh. I love you for that.
Marlene...I think you're one of the most amazing people I know. You have so much strength and are such a great example. Thanks for sharing. (Hope to see you on Tuesday!) Love Ya!!
You are making definite progress in officially becoming my BFF. Don't get overconfident, though. It's not over yet! I love you.
I know this time of the yr is always a tough time for you. My heart goes out to you and your always in my thoughts. I don't think you ever get over the loss of a child so it's ok to feel sad and cry, I'll cry w/ you. hang in there, tomorrow will be better. :)
Thank you for sharing your personal thoughts! You are an amazing woman and bless so many (including me)! I love your gift to make people laugh and I just want you to know that you are AWESOME!!
Oh Marlene...I just love you! Thanks for sharing, I loved hearing about little Madilyn again, she was absolutely adorable! I'm feeling sad that you were having such a hard day, you should have called me and you could have bought me that Blizzard you owe me!!! ;) But really, I'm always up for some tears when you need 'em, and I love to hear your stories...thanks for reminding me to be a better mom.
Hey sis or as I call you mar. Great page I saw no problems with in spelling or grammer. Oh may be it was I could see through the tears great tribute to mom she is a great lady. Love L
Marlene-I'm so glad that I served with you in a the primary presidency and got to know how kind, loving and patient you are. . .especially with children. You are such an example to me in so many ways. I can't pretend to imagine your pain, and hope you know how much I love you and pray that you will be comforted during this time of year.
Your baby girl is so beautiful. Thanks for sharing pictures--I would love to see more. Vicki
Marlene, I still have a hard time... even though we have Jonas now, there is still so much uncertainty. I'm a cry baby and I'd like to say that it makes me feel better, but sometimes the pain is just too deep. I love you and am so grateful for you. Thank you for being so sensitive to my emotions the the other day at the temple. It means a lot to me to see your strength and smiling face. Jonas loves you as do all children. You are a mother in so many ways. I love you!!
P.S. Sorry about the delete... I accidently posted it twice (cause I'm so handy with the computer! ha,ha).
Marlenie!!!! I love ya sister and wish I could have been with you on Mother's Day!! I miss ya so much!!!:) You are a Star--just remember that. Sorry it has been so long since I've written. I'll be better...were getting internet at the house through dish soon.:) I will call you later. Love you!!!
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